I did not know then, but I know now
"I wouldn’t recommend it. It becomes the norm and you don’t feel anything towards it anymore…"
A girl on my hall once told me my freshman year of college after she had explained she had not gone home over the “break.” At that time, I had always thought I would be home for Thanksgiving every year, but turned out only a three day break was not worth the money it took for me to get back home. So it was thus decided.
This will be my second year not going home and now I understand what she had meant. All of a sudden the anticipation became apathy. I began to look forward to a peacefully silent dorm and campus, pleasing to my Ebeneezer soul. When my friends would gasp, I would just shrug; it’s no big deal. In a way I guess it really isn’t. I was not ever a big fan of Thanksgiving food anyways (definitely not the past 5 years I have been a vegetarian)—-or the gluttony……as I stated my senior year of highschool:( http://din0d3mi.tumblr.com/post/1709953529/america-is-fat-because )
Yet to say there is 100% apathy towards the whole, I guess that would be a lie. I am reminded of that as I watch Food Network’s Thanksgiving Theme recipes and see ads for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: an event I always made sure I got up early to watch. I remember the smells of my mom preparing the meal while I watched the cliche balloons that passed every year and the Rocketts dance on the big red mat. I began to miss the activity of taking down the Christmas boxes and decorating after the meal—finally kicking off the season of red and green. It all stirs up an ache in my heart that I forgot was there…